It’s Time

May 25, 2008 at 4:09 pm Leave a comment


Ladies,
There comes a time in our lives when we need to decide to minimize. We all want to maintain our youthful appearance, but some of the things we do only draws attention of our eligibility for the senior discount at Dennys. I’ll give you a few hints:

Minimize the blush. There’s nothing attractive about looking like a clown, unless of course you’re dating Ronald McDonald.

Minimize the lip liner. You aren’t kidding anyone when you try to draw on bigger lips than you actually have. God gave you what you’ve got. Go with it. Stay away from Botox injections, too. Even less enticing are lips that look like you’ve been stung by a swarm of angry bees.

Minimize the blue eye shadow. C’mon gal’s, it’s never been the in thing, and certainly not when smeared on up to your eyebrows. A little bit goes a long way.

Minimize the spandex in your wardrobe. It is not your friend. It shows every flaw in your body. If you have cellulite, spandex screams it out to the world.

Minimize blouses that spotlight your midriff. Unless of course you have a midriff that warrants spotlighting. If you have ‘six pack’ abs, then that’s a different story, but if you have a pony keg, then cover it up. No one wants to see it. Trust me.

Minimize the times you wear Daisy Dukes. Everyone knows that as you age, gravity moves things down. Maybe when you bought those shorts, you butt cheeks were where they were supposed to be, but chances are you’re sporting two half moons and the sun is still shining.

Minimize your boobs. There are several brand name brassieres available to help restrain those sagging bosoms. You might have worn a 38DD at one time, but if you’re like me, you’ve graduated to a 40 Long. A minimizing bra can make an amazing difference. Just warn people standing nearby when you prepare to remove it.

If you MUST wear a thong, please wear it wisely. 🙂

Just a few helpful hints. I’ve finally decided that Popeye the sailor had the right idea when he said, “I am what I am, and that’s all that I am.”

If you really want to maximize something…how about making it the times you download or order a book by Ginger Simpson. (Shameless promotion at it’s best.)

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